That little bit of effort goes a long way and, as you notice the difference, you will bring this new approach into more areas of your life. As I am working from home, I often work in more casual clothing, unless I am having an online coaching session with a client. I am more concerned about the quality off the work than my appearance. But when I have something more challenging to do, I like to dress a little better. It is not about trying to impress others. It just gives me a little bit of a confidence boost. I feel more prepared and focused on the challenge ahead.
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We often think that dressing better is about impressing others. For some people it may be. But the real benefit is what you are communicating to yourself. It also sounds obvious to state that when you smile, you feel happier and more confident. Despite this, so many people do not smile. When you smile and make eye contact, it shows that you have a certain ease and warmth about you. This enables others to feel more at ease in your presence, thus improving the quality of your interactions. As you start to interact better with others, your self-confidence grows until communicating with ease becomes a natural process.
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When you greet people with a warm, sincere smile and gentle eye contact, you are showing them that you are trustworthy. You are telling them that you come in peace. You pose no threat to them. This is assertive behaviour which benefits both parties and helps build confidence for both. Many of those who lack self-confidence are fearful of reaching out and connecting with others. They want to, but they fear rejection. A simple smile and some eye contact can open doors. If you are someone who fails to smile or make eye contact, then make this the first thing you add to your self-confidence building attempts.
In each interaction, look the person in eye and smile. You don't have to add anything else until this becomes a habit. The results from this one change can be incredible. A simple, sincere and warm-hearted smile can do a lot to rasie the confidence of both the person receiving the smile and; the person smiling.
When you take the time to compliment others, it demonstrates that you feel good enough about yourself to give positive feedback to others. The compliments should always be genuine and honest. At first, it may take a little time for you to find the positives in others that you would like to compliment but it becomes easier. By adopting the necessary mindset, not only will you find positives in others but you will start to see more positives in every area of your life.
As you do so, you realise that your life is in better shape than you may have previously thought. As a result, your self-confidence grows. Sincerely complimenting others is one of the simplest but purest forms of love. And the great thing about love is that when you give it, you experience it for yourself. Think about how you feel when you compliment or help someone your truly care for. Those little acts of love, or kindness if you prefer, come from within you and must pass through you to pass to the other person.
As it passes through you, you must experience it for yourself. Your gift to them is also a gift to yourself. The very act of searching for the positives in others, makes you feel better and trains you to see the positives in life. This has a powerful impact on your self-confidence. Start with the people who are most important to you as you probably spend most time with them. Make a note of all the things you admire about them which you may be able to compliment. Sadly, we humans find it incredibly easy to find the negative in our lives.
It is not always as easy to identify the positives , though they are there. Practice appreciation each day and you will eliminate negativity from your life. Your are not trying to develop delusions about how amazing and wonderful your life is; you just want to develop a more realistically optimistic view whereby you can identify and appreciate the positives in your life.
When you take the time to appreciate the good things in your life, you start to feel some real joy. You realise that your life is better than you normally think it is.
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And that is important. You just need to start seeing the good in your life and start appreciating it. This helps to change my mindset quickly and encourages me to be vigilant for opportunities to be appreciative. We can all do most things but what differs is the standard to which we can perform the task.
Throughout your life, you will encounter tasks which you are not best suited to performing. If you spend a lot of your time performing these tasks, you are likely to struggle and your self-confidence will be impacted. You will be better able to perform the task and your self-confidence will receive a boost with each task that you successfully complete.
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Know your strengths and play to them. Seek work in an area which makes the most of your strengths, knowledge and skill set. Where possible delegate or outsource the tasks which do not suit your strengths. There are several things which do not fall within your strengths, but you do need to be competent at them. The only exception to this should be for things you genuinely love doing. Many of the situations where you lack self-confidence can be eliminated from your life without you experiencing any loss.
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Perfectionism is just a mechanism used to inflict pain upon yourself. Perfection is neither a possibility nor a necessity. Nobody has ever been perfect and nobody ever will be. Rather than seek to achieve perfection , you can always try to do your best. Then, you can learn from the experience and strive to do better next time around. The key thing to remember is that once something is done, it can always be improved. You get feedback from other people, from results or from the world at large. As you review the feedback, you can identify any improvements you need to make, The feedback loop allows you to continuously improve anything — whether it be a skill, a personal trait, a project, a product etc.
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